No matter what anyone says, divorce is not the end for dating. No matter how long the marriage lasted or how you are when it ends, there is no reason why you should not date again after divorce.
Of course, dating after a divorce is not quite the same as dating before marriage.
Regardless of the circumstances of the separation, even if you are happily divorced, things are going to be different. These 8 dating after divorce tips will help you get started with your new dating life.
1 You will Know when you are Ready
A lot of people will probably tell you that dating needs to begin at a particular time after a divorce. As well-meaning as this advice is they can be quite frustrating.
Whether you are dating men or dating women after divorce, only you know your own heart. If you are unsure about whether or not you are ready to start dating after divorce, simply do the following.
Close your eyes and try to imagine yourself in a dating situation. How does it make you feel? If the answer is terrified then it is probably not time. If the prospect excites you then you may be ready for life after divorce.
Speed Dating is the way to go
There is no denying that the Internet has changed dating forever. Not only is online dating now common but there are even specialist things like divorce dating sites in the UK. However, wading through profile sites which may be fake people, 'catfish' pictures or worse can be time consuming and a complete waste of time.
This is why speed dating has never been more popular and successful. Speed Dating brings together single people your own age in a location close to home. This means you spend less time searching and more time chatting and having fun! Speed Dating takes away the hassle of endless swiping and as well as meeting a potential date, you will also meet friends along the way, who like you are starting out into the world of dating.
You will date around 15 single people from your own age group for 5 minutes each. 5 minutes is long enough to see if there is that first spark or initial attraction and you can then decide if you would like to see them again in the future saving you valuable time.
Start with a Simple Date
Once you have been to a speed dating event and met some potential dates, what next?
Taking someone out to dinner might seem like the obvious way to kick-start your dating after divorce.
However, while it is traditional it may not be the best option. Dinner is quite a commitment in terms of time and expense and that may be too much to give if things do not work out.
Instead, for the initial meeting try something small like coffee or drinks.
This is a much lower-pressure scenario to meet someone in and may be a better way to go.
Life after divorce should begin however you want it to so there is nothing wrong with taking it slow and keeping it friendly and easy-going at least to begin with.
Never Mention your Ex
Of all the divorce tips, this one is a hard and fast rule - at least for a first date.
Bringing up your last partner even if you are happily divorced and ready to move on is likely to sour the mood and hamper your new life after divorce from getting started.
Avoiding the topic can be difficult. The best way is to have specific things you want to ask the other person.
If you ask them to talk generally about themselves, then their dating life may come up which lets them ask you about yours. For the first date be specific and stay focused, there will be time enough to discuss these things later.
Do not Introduce Your Children to a New Partner Straight Away
Your partner definitely needs to know that you have children but you probably want to delay the meeting until at least the 6-month mark.
This is especially true if your children are young. The thing is that your children are likely to get attached. That way if things do not work out, you do not have to deal with the children's heartbreak in addition to your own.
Remember that you can always organise a babysitter if you need to and that dating after divorce does not mean only when your kids let you.
Things may not Start Strong
Sometimes there are no sparks or chemistry in the beginning and that is okay.
One of our key divorce tips is that things take time. This applies to life after divorce in every sense and your divorced dating may have a slower start than you were expecting.
Adult relationships are built on solid foundations and these require both time and trust.
Do not worry if there is no intense passion at the beginning. If dating after divorce means finding someone whose company you simply enjoy that can be enough. There is always time for things to turn into something more.
Act Like an Adult
If you meet someone from speed dating, remember that you need to treat them with the same dignity you would anyone else.
These days it has become more common for people to avoid each other when things are not working out.
You are going to save both yourself and the other person a great deal of time and hassle if you simply tell them that you do not want another date. Remember, now that you are happily divorced and the last thing you want is to be bogged down in more drama.
Dating should be fun and exciting and at Love Speed Dating we take away the hassle and the drama as you venture back into the world of dating and dipping your toe back into the water. Stop swiping and start dating!
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Good luck and happy dating! x